Women's Writing Group II

What did she say? She can't do it? Did she say why? Boy, that news was hard to take. The production is tomorrow. Well, what do you think we should do? My mind was racing. When I originally signed up to be the advisor for Habitat for Humanity, I never envisioned this. I thought we would do a few standard fundraisers and then build a house. I should have realized that the school talent show, being sponsored by HfH all those years, would be a responsibility I would have to take on. But I expected, or assumed really, to get some help from the theater teacher as had happened in previous years.

But alas, her personal life is now troubled and I am left holding a microphone with a stage of 40 or so performers in front of me. What would they do if they were stuck in the chemistry lab without me? No time for thoughts like that. Must act.

As I bravely held the mic and started my directing debut, I thought it would be obvious to all that I was forced into this position at the last minute against my will. I am, after all, the school's chemistry teacher. But a few minutes later and many frustrated looks later, it became clear to me that the full weight of what was going on was falling on my shoulders and anything that went wrong would be blamed on me. And it was.

The kids who ran the audio could not keep all the microphones straight as the various teacher and student acts took the stage during rehearsal. I pictured myself there the next night with the auditorium filled with 400 students anticipating the show that had been so popular in previous years. I still tried to believe that someone would realize that I was helping out under extraordinary circumstances. But in the end, if anyone did, they stayed silent. The actual production was a mediocre display with microphones not working and shotty pacing of the acts. Because I had the earpiece on, everyone was asking me questions and complaining. I was a repository for their stress, which was amazing given how much of my own stress I was carrying.

The night ended and I went to sleep. No one at school has spoken of that night since. I am changed and more cynical now. Much more careful about expending my energies. In the end, it's probably a great lesson, but for now it still smarts.